


pictures of the ocean and you

by softie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Beaches, Colors, KenHina Week 2016, M/M, Sunsets, Terminal Illnesses, photographer kenma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 11:25:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6801787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softie/pseuds/softie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which certain colors fade when the one whose company you cherish disappears forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	pictures of the ocean and you

**Author's Note:**

> in case you missed the archive warning, this contains a character death!!
> 
> this is my submission for kenhina week day 4, i chose the "colors" prompt.  
> "hinata shouyou is the sun" is a trope that i will never grow tired of.  
> thank u jackie oates for providing beautiful music while i wrote this.
> 
> HUGE thank you to [crai](http://http://bok-hoot-owl.tumblr.com/) for [this beautiful artwork](http://bok-hoot-owl.tumblr.com/post/149584937415/cozykoushi-while-reading-your-fic-pictures-of) inspired by this fic. ♡

Kenma sat far away form the shoreline on a soft dune; his toes were buried in the sand. He took pictures of the sunset every Thursday evening; whether it was storming with a heavy downpour, or the sky was as clear as ever, this was where he would be. It was an escape from the the hustle and bustle of the city life—to sit and capture the beautiful colors of the sky kissing the horizon of calm waters. He preferred to be alone, and always kept his phone turned off in order to savor the time. It was his own little world; the beach was so quiet with it’s crashing waves and gentle winds. No one could disturb him here. He was invisible.

The colors were so vivid. Tangerines, peaches, yellows, and oranges blurred in harmony across the sky. They reflected off of the water’s surface, and sparkled on the peaks of every wave. When only a sliver of the sun could be seen in the distance, that’s when Kenma would snap a picture. It was just enough light to be a good focus point for the photo, and it left enough color in the sky for his eyes to wander. He traced the gold lines around every cloud with his amber eyes—squinting whenever he mistook an airplane for a seagull, or it’s lights for the first stars of night. He became familiar with all the warm hues of this time of day, but was still fascinated by them every time he came here. It was as if each new day was a new canvas, and every Thursday was a new painting for him to see.

Then a boy started coming to the beach.

Kenma had never seen him before. This boy, who had hair as orange as the sunbaked clouds, was coincidentally there at the same time as Kenma—every Thursday at 6:00 PM. Sometimes, he would stand right on the edge of the water; he would be close enough to let the saltwater kiss his toes before it fell back down into the tide. He kept his hands in his pockets, and his pants rolled up just above his ankles. His head never looked down unless it was to pick up a shell or a shard of sea-glass. Like Kenma, he also seemed to be transfixed by the beauty of the ocean. The only difference between the two of them was that this boy’s face had a look about it that was a mixture of curiosity and sadness—a sadness that was being drowned out by pure optimism and positivity.

Then there were times when the boy sat hugging his knees to his chest. Some days, he wasn’t able to keep his head high, and Kenma could tell. The light that bathed in his irises was gone, and all that was left was a muted shade of auburn. From his dune, Kenma could see tears shimmering down his cheeks. He would clench his fists as his eyebrows knit together in frustration with the universe and whatever it had cursed him with. It was painful to watch, and it made something inside Kenma feel dull.

He decided to start taking pictures of this stranger with the sunset. Instead of focusing on the sliver of sunshine left on the horizon, he would make this boy the center of everything. Kenma couldn’t explain it, but something inside of him felt the need to have everything revolve around the mysterious boy. Every color in the sky, every wispy cloud, every grain of sand, and every billow of saltwater would bathe in the sunlight that was this boy’s presence. The colors of the sunset weaved through every strand of hair on his head, and casted an ethereal glow on his fair skin. There was no need to worry about the sun setting because it walked along the beach every Thursday—collecting seashells and rusted bottle caps.  

Kenma wanted to know so much about him. He had so many questions that he would never work up the energy to ask. Maybe it was best he never knew; maybe this boy should remain a mystery. Answers to simple questions couldn’t explain the feelings that Kenma experienced since the boy started visiting. He hadn’t exchanged a single word with him, and yet, he already felt a connection that was completely foreign.

Foreign… kind of like the hat the boy was wearing on this particular Thursday; it was a straw hat with a wide brim and a red ribbon wrapped around the center. It casted a shadow on the boy’s face, and was most likely a way to prevent a sunburnt nose. The summer months were fast-approaching, so it made sense; however, something about him seemed different. Whenever there was a gust of wind, he would hold onto his hat with a grip that made his knuckles white. The breeze that once blew through feathery orange hairs now annoyed him. His hair used to dance like flames—embers floating quietly to the ground. With a closer look through the camera lens, there was no trace of the vibrant locks. Kenma assumed they were just tucked into the hat really well.

One Thursday, the boy was no where to be seen. Kenma sat impatiently on his dune, and looked around trying to find him. He looked left all the way down to the docks where Kuroo sometimes took him fishing, and he looked right to see nothing but more empty sand. With a huff, he crossed his legs and was almost tempted to take out his phone to text the boy. The only issue was that… well, he didn’t even know him. He had grown so fond of this stranger that he actually made himself believe that they were already the best of friends. If he thought hard enough, it might have actually been more than that, but that was a funny feeling that he would deal with later. One thing was for sure, he missed the boy. He missed his company; he felt like the blankets that kept him warm at night were removed, and he was cold.

The sun began to set, so Kenma took out his camera and readied it for a picture; the first picture without the boy in what felt like forever. Just before his index finger pressed down on the shutter button, a voice from behind disrupted the silence.

“That is a beautiful picture.”

Kenma jumped in surprise, and he slowly turned his face to find the boy looming right over his shoulder.

There he was—his large floppy hat, his curious auburn eyes, and a smile upon his face. With a closer look, Kenma could see things that a camera lens from a distance would never pick up. The boy had the faintest of freckles peppered across his nose, and a dimple on his right cheek. His skin looked so soft and the color in his eyes had more depth than any painted evening sky. Kenma felt his face grow hot the more he gazed.

“Ahh sorry. I just… I noticed you taking pictures here a lot and… well, I couldn’t help but ask if I could see them?”

Kenma looked from the boy to his camera, and with a swallow, he pressed a button to view the images.

“Sure, here,” Kenma said with a polite nod. He slowly flipped through the album, and his heart started beating faster when he reached the numerous photos of the boy looking at the ocean. He felt ashamed; the boy was probably freaked out to find that majority of the pictures were of him. Kenma prepared himself to apologize, but then felt something wet landed on his shoulder. As it soaked through his t-shirt, he looked to find that the boy was crying. Now, Kenma felt _really_ bad.

“I-I could delete them?? I’m so sorry. I had no business taking pictures of you,” Kenma choked.

“No… no. Please, keep them.” The boy smiled through tired eyes. Only now did Kenma notice that there was something else about him that he couldn’t pinpoint before. The boy looked exhausted.

“My name is Shouyou.” He quickly wiped away his tears and held out his dry hand.

Kenma gently shook Shouyou’s hand, and didn’t fail to notice how cold and frail his hands were. “Kenma, you can call me Kenma,” he said.

With a smile still on his face, Shouyou sat down and made himself comfortable next to Kenma. He wiggled his toes warm under the sand, and then looked ahead at the water.

“Why do you come here all the time, Kenma?” Shouyou asked.

Kenma joined Shouyou and focused on the waves crashing onto the shore. “It’s peaceful, I guess.”

“Yeah, I think so too.” Shouyou watched the bubbles and sea-foam that blanketed the wet sand after every wave.

“What about you, Shouyou? I’ve never seen you around here before,” Kenma asked.

He turned to see Shouyou’s eyes fall a bit, and his breath hitched before he could reply. “I… umm… well, I came into town because supposedly someone here could help me, but…”

A gust of wind blew, and Shouyou instantly threw his hands up to grip his hat. His forehead wrinkled in frustration, and he tilted his body away from Kenma as if to hide his face. It became clear that the hat was hiding something more than Shouyou’s bright hair.

The wind died down, and Shouyou relaxed his arms back down to his sides. “The ocean is really beautiful, Kenma.”

Kenma felt his heart drop as he watched a tear fall from Shouyou’s eyes. It crept slowly down his pale cheek—coating ever freckle in it’s wake with a sheen. It settled for a moment in his dimple, and then slid quickly down his neck.

“What kind of help did you come for?” Kenma dared to ask.

In an act of suppressing emotion, Shouyou swallowed hard. Then, he mustered up a smile, _again._ “I don’t have much time left here, and the sunset is so beautiful on the ocean,” he said with a voice as tired as the sun that retreated behind the horizon.

Kenma noticed that Shouyou was on the verge of tears. Like dark storm clouds that sometimes loomed over violent waves, his eyes were dark and ready to unleash pent-up sadness at any given moment. He reached out and intertwined his fingers with Shouyou’s. He held tight, or as tight as he could without feeling like he would break Shouyou’s fragile hands.

“Shouyou…”

“Keep those pictures.” Shouyou gripped Kenma’s hand. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course,” Kenma immediately responded.

“I don’t know if this moment is as special to you as it is for me,” Shouyou looked at Kenma with the slightest bit of hope in his eyes, “but these passed few weeks, you’ve been a friend to me. I know we have never talked, but…” Shouyou stopped as his eyes met with Kenma’s. He shuddered at the way Kenma looked at him—with concern. It wasn’t the pitying kind of concern; it was a comforting look. A look that said “I’m here.”

“I understand, Shouyou. It’s okay. Let’s look at the ocean together.”

Shouyou sighed as if he was holding in a deep breath. “Okay, I’d like that.”

* * *

 Over the next few weeks, Shouyou would join Kenma on Thursdays to take pictures. He even let Shouyou take the camera to the shore so he could take pictures of the seashells. Kenma showed him how to focus the lens, how to hold the camera properly, and how to position his body comfortably so that the photo came out clear. Kenma’s fingers would occasionally brush against Shouyou’s hands, to which they would both look away from each other and laugh. Laughing was the only way to cope with the onslaught of feelings that were accompanied by flushed cheeks and racing hearts.

Shouyou often brought popsicles with him, and it made Kenma laugh whenever he brought cherry flavor because Shouyou’s tongue would match the bright red sash on his hat. Shouyou also played music. Kenma hadn’t heard of a lot of the songs he played, but he loved them nonetheless. He couldn’t understand a lot of the words—they were often foreign songs sung in languages he could not speak. Shouyou’s playlists would jump from American indie songs to quiet French melodies that made the sand feel more soft and warm. It was like Shouyou was traveling the world via music, and Kenma was going with him.

They held hands a lot, and never questioned it. It felt natural and reassuring, like Kenma’s hands were made to fit Shouyou’s perfectly. Some otherworldly force made him visit the beach on Thursdays instead of Tuesdays or Wednesdays, and it was so that he could meet Shouyou. This is how it was supposed to be—hands sticky from melted popsicles and stomachs hurting from laughter. Kenma enjoyed his solitude, but having Shouyou around was nice. It was easy to be around him. It was easy to smile, easy to talk, and easy to just _be._ Kenma even started tying his hair back because he didn’t want to miss a single moment. He wanted to see everything. He had to capture every curve of Shouyou’s lips, and every blissful laugh that harmonized with the sound of the ocean. He looked forward to Thursdays—not because of the sunset, but because of Shouyou.

Then one day, Shouyou was late.

Kenma shrugged it off, and assumed he had stopped to get meat buns. It had happened before; Shouyou liked them fresh. Something about this sunset was different, though. All the tangerines, peaches, yellows, and oranges were washing away like the ocean retreating to low tide. They were so muted, and lacked so much life.

Kenma tapped his knees with his fingers as he waited for Shouyou to come back with snacks and stories about how his week went. It wasn’t like him to feel so impatient. He almost felt irritated. With a stressful sigh, he took out his phone to message him. When an hour had passed, and Shouyou had not responded, Kenma’s heart pounded through his chest. Part of him wanted to look over his shoulder to see if Shouyou was there, looming curiously like last time. As he slowly turned, he saw nothing—nothing but beachgrass swaying quietly in the breeze. The sound of the waves filled Kenma’s eardrums until it was all he could hear; it’s all he wanted to hear. His body felt heavy and he couldn’t move. He didn’t want to leave the beach ever again. He wanted to stop time and wrap himself in the humid ocean air. He wanted to blend in with the sand and let the waves crash over him. He wanted to look up and see dark storm clouds holding in a heavy downpour.

Kenma laid there, gripping the sleeves of his sweater as night approached. The warm colors of the sun were long gone, and there was a chill in the air. It was the first Thursday that Kenma didn’t capture the sunset in a photo, and it was because Shouyou wasn’t there with him. It didn’t feel right; nothing felt right. Shouyou was gone and the sunset wasn’t as beautiful as it was before.

He rolled onto his back to look up at the sky, and swore to himself that there was one new star out there, somewhere. As his eyes began to fall, his phone chimed. He sat up quickly, and took a deep breath before seeing who it was from.

From mom:  
>   _it’s getting late, kenma. please come home, your dinner is getting cold_

Kenma sighed as he locked his phone and slid it back into his pocket. Then, he stood up to soak in as much of the scenery as he could before walking back home. He wanted to stay. He wanted to stay with Shouyou.

* * *

 Kenma faced the wall as he laid in bed. He pulled the covers over his head, and flipped through the pictures of Shouyou on his camera. Everything was blurry, but not because of poor photographing skills; Kenma finally let himself cry. The sleeve of his shirt was soaked from wiping away tears that never seemed to stop falling from his sore eyes. The colors in the pictures of Shouyou were as bright and true as they were in person. The colors that were muted just an hour ago were vivid on the tiny camera screen—swirling around Shouyou like a vortex. He was so beautiful.

Every Thursday that passed, Kenma still visited the ocean; however, the sky was never as radiant as it was with Shouyou.  The only source of such fiery colors resided in photos—photos that were now pinned onto the walls of Kenma’s bedroom. They lit up like fireflies, and greeted Kenma with a smile at the end of every tiring day. On the nights when he was cold, they glowed like night-lights and kept him warm. He even kept one in his wallet; it was one of his favorite pictures. It was blurry because at the time the photo was captured, Shouyou was crouched down to pick up a shell, and then jumped up when he realized it was actually a crab. Kenma couldn’t control his laughter when it happened, and so every time he sees it, he can’t help but chuckle.

It made sense why Shouyou wanted him to keep the photos. Kenma didn’t know it at the time, but Shouyou definitely did. Shouyou knew when he tried to explain it.

_“…but these passed few weeks, you’ve been a friend to me.”_

The more Kenma thought about it, he knew too. It was when he wanted to know more about Shouyou. It was when he missed him that time he disappeared, and then showed up behind him. It was when he caught himself in the moments of pure happiness next to Shouyou—hoping that the feeling would never go away.

These photos were what kept Shouyou alive. Of course he lived on with all of his energy and vibrancy in Kenma’s heart, but physically, he was there in every picture. Kenma could look at any photo, and it would start to move like a movie before his eyes. He could hear the waves, the music, and the laughter. The photo would become sticky from melted cherry popsicles, and if he took a whiff, he could smell them too.

Shouyou used to sit on the shore with Kenma, watching the setting sun kiss the colors of the sky goodnight. Now, Shouyou was the one going to sleep behind the horizon—kissing Kenma goodnight through captured memories on photo paper.

**Author's Note:**

> somewhere in the universe, shouyou is laughing and singing amongst the stars as planets and moons float by.  
> find me on tumblr at [cozykoushi](http://cozykoushi.tumblr.com)


End file.
